Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Birdie and Love About Town

picture courtesy of
So Love and I went out to eat this evening to one of our favorite Thai places here in town. (There are 2 we absolutely adore and both treat us the same!) Since Love's practice was in the downtown section we used to frequent this place a couple times a week. Isn't it funny how the owners of tiny restaurants become almost like family? We love their visits table side and how it is here in our "hometown" even though we both grew up in different areas, as professionals we have been in this area for quite a while. Everyone here in the area still treats my hubby as he was treated before his stroke, and that is nice. It's one thing that was a bit different when we moved briefly out of the area.

My hubby had a stroke in April of 2010. Directly after seeing his last patient of the evening he came up stairs to our place above the commercial building and within 5 minutes I was calling 911. That evening changed our life instantly. I will post about that night and the subsequent journey to healing in another post but tonight I just wanted to say how wonderful it is to have people around us that see Love for who he is on the inside, and aren't stopped by the sight of a fairly young man walking with a cane, or riding in his wheel chair, with his left arm and hand non functional, and his leg impaired.

I think one of the biggest struggles we've had is of family members on my side treating him like he is half of a person because of the disability now. It has been very frustrating in our infertility journey when people ask questions like, "Aren't you afraid he won't be able to help you with kids?", or "Why would you have children now?", like my husband is a burden to me. He isn't and many people with disabilities have babies everyday. He can actively contribute to our lives and to society and I find it so oppressive and frankly hurtful when I hear those types of things.

When we walk into this restaurant and are greeted with  "Hi Doctor Love! It's so nice to see you and Birdie out tonight!" The conversation turns to our move across country and back and how great it is to see us again. The families in both this restaurant and the other one in town that we adore are Asian and my hubby and I go to these places when he is in need of "comfort" food.  I realized tonight that I come to these places when I just simply need the feel of family. Nope they aren't our family... but they are wonderful with the way the treat my husband. They are helpful if he needs his chair pulled out, but don't treat him like an invalid, or someone with a low IQ. They still look at him as a peer, ask probing questions. Talk about his former practice, occasionally ask medical advice even though he is not practicing now... in short they treat him like a whole person, looking past the shell of his body and seeing the spirit inside him!

1 sweet comments:

Helene said...

I'm so sorry for all you have gone through. At the same time, it's nice that you're sharing your story here. Hopefully you can help others who are going through the same situation.


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